I want you
by TheOfficalGleek
Summary: my head fell into my left hand and my thoughts drifted to Sean what if Manny was right what if Sean still loved Ellie what if I was just a rebound. SEllie DON"T LIKE IT DON'T READ IT COMPLETE!
1. Seeing her

**Summary:** I'm dating her but I love someone else and she's dating…Him!

**Author's note:** Second fic ever please reviews they make my day go round!!

This takes place during the first time Craig sings in what it feels like to be a ghost p.1 so this an Au story enjoy!!!!!!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Degrassi if I did Sean and Ellie would be together forever and things would be so different!!!!!!!

_**SEAN POV**_

Emma held my hand tightly as she talked to Manny about something as we waited for Craig to come on the stage and perform. I don't know why I agreed to come along. I've seen Craig sing over one thousand times so I looked around the room to see who else was here there was the regular crew Ashley, Jimmy, Marco, Spinner… and that's when I saw her she was sitting with her boyfriend Jesse I think his name is she laughed and I felt a hint of jealousy roll down my spine that should me sitting with her.

I know that could have been me sitting with her. If I had just stayed here and if I didn't leave for wasaga a mistake I know I cant fix. When I came back I didn't have the guts to see her to talk to her. But when I did finally build up the courage she turned me down she said she liked someone else.

We locked eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever her green ones to my blue ones she shook her head and turned away from me staring a the stage where Craig was now on sitting on a stool guitar in hand ready start. I didn't really listen to the song I just stared at the back of her head at the beautiful read hair that I once ran my fingers through.

Emma tugged at my hand and I focused my eyes on the stage. Manny was up in the front of the crowd looking ready to cry as Craig sang the ending verse of his song we walked towards Manny and I made sure not to look at Ellie once. Another pang of jealousy hit me when I saw Ellie hug Craig she told him that he was great.

I don't know why I feel this way I am dating Emma not Ellie I should love Emma not Ellie but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I wanted it to be the other way around.


	2. Mine

_**Author's Note:**_ Second chap. You guys are so lucky!!!!! R and R this chapter should be longer

_**Disclaimer:**_Degrassi oh I wish I did though I wonder how much they will sell it to me for though just kidding!!

EMMA POV

I felt him staring at her his eyes locked to the back of her head and he never looked away. I am his girlfriend he loves me not her. I have to keep telling my self that I trust him he came back for me not that redheaded vampire. ME! No I shouldn't be thinking about this he told me he loves me.

I watch her turn around and look at him right in his eyes he looks upset when she shakes her head and looks away smiling and laughing at something her boyfriend said. I tug at Sean's hand signaling that I am still here he looks at me and never looks back at Ellie Craig is now done singing and I walk over to my best friend she looks like she is going to cry. Ellie hugs Craig and I look at Sean he looks Jealous. JEALOUS!?!? I am his girlfriend not her.

Manny and Craig talk for a few minutes and I am still staring at Sean who is staring at the ground when he finally lifts his head up I kiss him on the lips. It surprises me when he pulls away. Staring into his face my eyes search his face for an answer. He looks happier.

" Are you okay?" I ask him

" I'm fine Em don't worry about" He replies and I can see right through his voice. Lies. I bet Ellie cant do that, read through him like a book.

" You sure I mean you seem a little distant."

" I said I was fine" He snaps " I just want to get home." This time he is the one tugging me away an upset Manny right behind me.

ELLIE"S POV

Sean is here staring at me. I can feel it. Jesse is talking to Marco about The Core or something like so I take the chance and turn around his gorgeous blue eyes stare deeply into my green ones just like when we were dating I shiver there was something behind that stare. I shake my head and turn away. I know that action hurt him and for some reason I felt good about it. Hurting him that is hurting him like he hurt me. I try to tear myself out of my thoughts and then I notice Marco was laughing about something Jesse just said so I laughed to going along with it acting like I was listening. I have always been so good at that.

But really I was trying to interpret that stare what was behind it jealousy, hate… love?

No, he has a girlfriend Emma and she is everything I am not and I have Jesse I love Jesse or at least I think I do. That's when I notice Craig is on stage singing I try to listen to the lyrics but I cant I think my old feelings for Sean might be resurfacing. Memories started to flood my mind, the first time we met, him tracing my scars, me jumping on him when he told my he was staying, the dance, him asking me to move in and then Sean moving back to Wasaga. The song is over and I get up and tell Craig how well he played he hugged me and I turned once again to look at Sean he seemed to find a interest in the floor. I know I have hurt him and I cringe when I look at him. Jesse and I leave but doesn't feel right when he kisses me in the parking lot.

Sean's face pops up in my mind and that's when I know that I my feelings for Sean Cameron have come back Boy was I messed up!!!


	3. Liar

_**Author's note:**_ Chapter 3 YAY!!!! Big thanks to **breathe-in3** for reviewing so I think the rest of you should follow in her footsteps and REVIEW!!!!!!!! Lol Enjoy this chapter

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own Degrassi but I wish I did so much would be different!!!!!

SEAN POV

I couldn't help but think about Ellie as I drove Emma and Manny home that night it was silent and that's what silence does to you it makes you think about anything and every thing. As we neared The Simpson/Nelson house I could feel my girlfriend's eyes burning a hole into the side of my head trying so desperately to read my thoughts but not succeeding. I was debating on telling her but I knew that would break her oh so fragile heart and I couldn't stand it if she was upset But Emma's Sharp voice cut through me like a knife interrupting my thoughts

" Are you going to freeze me out this whole trip because I don't think I deserve it after what you did to me tonight?" my mouth fell open and my eyes bulged maybe she could read my thoughts.

" What… What are you talking about Em?" I asked She scowled and turned to face the road.

" Don't play that stupid innocent card with me Sean Cameron don't think I didn't see the way you looked at her tonight!" If it was even possible my jaw dropped further. She could see right through me.

" Who Emma, Ellie that was that was nothing." Liar. I'm lying straight to her face wow Cameron you have hit an all time low lying to your girl friend. I stopped the car in front of the Simpson/Nelson house unbuckled my seat belt and faced her she was furious and I knew it.

" Em you can trust me I love you and only you not Ellie I just haven't seen her in so long. But she is nothing Compared to you Em." Liar. I had it all wrong. In my mind it was the other way around not what just came out of my mouth. Emma Smiled and Turned to face me

" Really?" She asked and I slowly nodded cringing slightly and hoping she didn't notice. I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek

" See you tomorrow you better get inside before your mom and Mr. Simpson kill me." I said once again she smiled fumbled with the door handle and exited the car Emma reached the last step turned back and smiled. I waited a minute until the front door closed completely and the light in the front went off. It was dark all around me silent again I leaned back in the seat and sighed before starting the car.

EMMA POV

As I stepped out of Sean's car and headed towards the steps I felt as if I had won as if Sean was the prize and I was the winner. It felt good to know I am the winner not that bloodless freak me Emma Nelson I was the winner.

Closing the door behind me I stepped inside and sighed before turning my eyes to the scene in front of me Manny was standing in the middle of the living room arms crossed a look of confusion written across her face.

" So what was with that little outburst before in the car?" She asked her eyes looking me up and down before focusing on my face.

" Nothing it was nothing" I said heading towards the door to our bedroom. I stepped inside.

" Didn't seem like nothing" Manny closed the door and flopped down on her bed.

" Okay well I caught Sean staring at Ellie the whole time tonight and he looked jealous when she hugged Craig I thought he still had feelings for her but but you heard him he said she was nothing to him that he loved me." the last part I said came out in a rush and as I pulled my pajama shirt over my head I caught her shaking her head at me before changing into a shirt and shorts.

" What?" I said worried " You think he lied cause Sean wouldn't do that to me." Would he? I wondered she shook her head again and said

" No no I don't think he would it's just Craig said the same thing to me." I avoided thinking about that and changed the subject to Craig.

" So what's going on with you and him" I asked one thousand thoughts running through my head.

ELLIE POV

Jesse was talking to me about some joke Marco told him earlier and that's when my thoughts drifted to Sean. He looked so different His Hair was longer and he didn't wear that huge sweatshirt and hat and headphones to complete the look anymore he dressed more mature more like a man and it made him look…Gorgeous. I was once again falling for Sean Cameron but this time I had a boyfriend Jesse one who I loved or at least I think I do. No I do definitely he was just a handsome as Sean and oh god he was still talking to me

" Funny isn't it Ellie?" He asked

" Ya hilarious" I snapped I wasn't in the talking mood. Jesse shot me a confused glance and then looked back at the road.

" You oka- "

" I'm fine," I said not even letting him finish. He threw his hands up in surrender and I felt the car stop underneath me

"Your home." Jesse turned to me and I kissed him before turning and leaving the car when I kissed Jesse it as if something was missing something I had with Sean Something that made the kiss feel right but I couldn't imagine my life with out Jesse but I couldn't imagine it with out Sean. Love was so confusing!


	4. We meet again

_**Author's note: **_ Fourth Chapter YAY!!!! I am updating fast!! I am not sure how long this will be yet but I will figure it out oh and this mentions the Degrassi mini Don't forget about me part one. The characters in the chapter might be a little ooc but that's how they need to !!!!!

_**Disclaimer: **_Okay okay we all know I don't own Degrassi you don't need to rub it in!

SEAN POV

I don't know why I found myself on climbing through her window at 3:30 in the morning on a Sunday. I guess maybe it's because of the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about her. What I said to Emma the day before meant nothing and I knew I had to tell someone the truth even if it was the person it was about.

So as I hoisted my self through her window praying that she was alone and not with… him I knew I was not making a mistake and that this is were I belong to be or I least I thought that it was were I belonged.

When my feet hit the floor with a soft thud her thin body started to stir and I feared I had woken her up I was right. Her eyes slowly opened and she looked around the room when her eyes landed on me she jumped out of bed and flicked the light switch on her jaw dropped and she stood there in shock before whispering

" Sean what the hell are you doing in my room better yet how did you get in?" I turned my head to the window and smirked.

" I thought we needed to talk about today and um everything." I said nervously

" So you climb through my window?" Ellie asked me I nodded. She shook her head slightly before sitting on the bed her long red hair flowing in all different directions as she walked.

" I wanted to apologize for everything for leaving you. I know it was a mistake now and I just needed to tell you that." I said walking to the window and putting a foot out I guess it was bad idea coming.

"Wait," her soft voice said " That day at the dot did you really mean what you said how you still loved me?" I looked at her again before pulling my foot inside and sitting down next to her.

" Of course El I still have feelings for you."

" Then why did you come back for Emma why did you just give up after I turned you down?" I dropped my head to stare at her red sheets I was hoping she wouldn't ask me that.

" Because I was a coward and I thought you would just turn me down again I still love you Ellie." I slowly moved my head towards hers and she didn't pull away she eliminated the space between us and our lips met in the middle it felt right kissing Ellie like nothing else in the world could separate us and for the shortest time I didn't think about Emma.

Ellie pushed on my chest and pulled away I stared in her face and she looked a mixture of two emotions shocked and angry.

" Sean we cant what about Jesse and Emma oh god oh god if he finds out about this he will be…" She trailed off and started pacing

" No one needs to find out ok it will be our little secret no one needs to find out nothing ever happened and I was never here okay but remember what I said I still love you Ellie I just hope you feel the same" Her eyes filled with tears and she opened her bedroom door

" How about you take the stairs this time Sean it's much easier." She said quietly leading me through the house and down the stairs

" Goodbye Ellie" I said before closing the front door and retreating to my car.

ELLIE POV

Oh my god what did I just do I kissed Sean Cameron no Sean Cameron Wasn't just Sean Cameron he was my ex, my ex that I still loved my ex I still had feelings for. I could have just ruined me and Jesse's almost perfect relationship or any possible future relationships with Sean I always ruin everything. So as I climbed the stairs to my bedroom I realized that I had to tell Jesse the truth or he would some how find out on his own and I couldn't let that happen. Not in a million years not in a trillion years now the only question now was how was I going to tell Jesse and how was he going to react. I didn't have to tell him the whole thing right just the I kissed my ex part not the I still love Sean part right… right?


	5. 16 again

_**Author's Note:**_ 5th chapter I am planning on getting this done before the 8 of September because that's when all my sports and stuff starts. But I still don't how long it's going to be and if you read my story please REVIEW!!!!! Thanks to _**Breathe-in3 **_for reviewing I might not update tomorrow cause I am going away for the day so I might have tomorrow's chapter up today. I don't really like this chapter but i have to post it remember to REVIEW!!!!!

_**Disclaimer: **_If I owned Degrassi Ellie would still be on the show and Sean and Ellie would still be together!!!!!

_**ELLIE POV**_

I walked into The Core early that afternoon different scenes of how the day could roll out playing in my mind but most of them ended with Jesse and I splitting. He was sitting alone working on a front-page piece for the next issue when I approached him we were alone the only ones in the room everyone else was in class so it was a perfect time to tell him.

" Hey Frosh" he said without looking up from his piece " What's up?"

" I need to talk to you about something" Jesse nodded

" Talk away" I took a deep breath and continued he was going to be so mad when I told him.

" Um so yesterday well more like this morning I was sleeping and um I saw someone go through my window so I turned on the light and-"

" Is this going somewhere? Your kind of scaring me Frosh." He said interrupting my mad babbling speech.

" I kissed Sean." I said hanging my head not wanting to see his reaction. We sat in silence for about a minute I raised my head and saw him take a deep breath before running his hand through his hair.

" You you kissed your ex … um wow Ellie um" He trailed off and stood up walking over to the assignment board before speaking again.

" Just tell me tell me it didn't mean anything tell me it meant nothing that it was just a kiss that you fell into the moment or something I don't know tell me you thought nothing of it." He turned around and looked at me. I sighed

" Jesse it I… I would be lying if I said that and I can't lie to you right now." I snapped the rubber band around my wrist an action that I haven't done in a while the familiar pain swept up and down my arm and I relaxed.

"I can't do this Frosh I can't you still have feelings for your high school romance how could you do this to me we're done Ellie have a great life." He turned around and stormed out of the core my eyes filled with tears and as I sat there and watched him leave the room. I shouldn't have told him how could I have been so stupid I tried to blink back the tears that threatened to fall as I too left the room. I always ruin everything.

I brushed past the cold metal coat hanger it touching sligtly the cold metal felt good against my skin the picture of a razor popped into my head but i closed my eyes and thought about Sean. Once again i started snapping the rubberband around my wrist bulding bruises were it hit my flesh i felt like a 16 year old again all alone in the world except for the sharp metal edge of a razor i was going crazy and i already missed Jesse. I knew i had hurt him but i loved Sean now all i had to do was get SEan back.

_**JESSE POV**_

_" I kissed Sean."_ Her words kept echoing in my head she kissed her ex. I thought we were going great so great almost perfect and then she kisses her ex. I couldn't believe it i didn't want to believe it and then i asked her to tell me that it meant nothing and she couldn't. "  
" _Just tell me tell me it didn't mean anything tell me it meant nothing that it was just a kiss that you fell into the moment or something i don't know tell me you thought nothing of it" I asked her or more like pleaded with her i wanted us to be together for ever.  
"Jesse it I...I would be lying if I said that and I can't lie to you right now." She said and I was devastated I couldn't even deal with this right now. I knew I had no choice but to end it right then an there._


	6. Nothing

_**Author's Note:**_ like I said here's tomorrow's chapter today!!!!! Probably won't keep updating this fast school starts on the 3and I have to finish my 8th grade summer reading and summer math so I don't know when the next chapter is going to go up and I will not update this weekend cause I am really busy I'll try and update soon. Be warned now that in this chapter there is Semma gross I know but I had to put it in here. REVIEW!!!!

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Degrassi do I really need to say anymore?__

EMMA POV

" So Em what are doing after school today any plans?" Manny asked me I smiled to myself

" Hot date with Sean at The Dot then to back home after." Manny raised an eyebrow and I shot her a questioning look.

" What?" I asked

" No no it's nothing just did you talk to him about what happened Saturday yet?" I scowled there was nothing going on between Sean and Ellie and I already have told her that I am his girl friend not Ellie why doesn't she get that.

" What the hell Manny I already told you there is nothing going on between them they are just friends." I shot back at her She backed away and put her hands up in surrender turned around and headed towards our last class of the day. I sighed and followed her lead running to catch up to her.

" Look I'm sorry but I just got Sean back to myself and it's a touchy subject." I told her and she nodded.

" So you never told me what happened between you and Craig Saturday?" I asked her trying to change the subject as quickly as possible" He seems like the same rock star he was when he left." I said as we turned into the media immersions classroom

" Well he's not he's different Em-"

" Hello all fellow media lovers I know we would all love to discuss our after school social plans but this is a classroom so lets start by me telling you about your new project due on Friday…" my head fell into my left hand and my thoughts drifted to Sean what if Manny was right what if Sean still loved Ellie what if I was just a rebound. Why am I thinking about this again Sean loves me he said so. He couldn't love a bloodsucking freak like Ellie…could he?

_**SEAN POV**_

I sat outside Degrassi C.S. waiting for Emma to arrive just like I did everyday except today she took longer I have been waiting for 30 minutes since the last bell rang and I as getting impatient. It was making me think… think about her. No not Emma Ellie. Her long red hair was grown past her shoulders and she had toned down her wardrobe a red shirt black skirt and very little makeup she looked beautiful she always did every time I saw her she looked beautiful even Sunday morning.

My thoughts drifted to that kiss oh god how I longed to kiss her again like I use to how she would sit next to me her head on my shoulder how I would stroke her hair to help her fall asleep. Those little gestures are what make me love her so much and I miss her. I should probably tell Emma about that kiss with Ellie but I knew I wouldn't be able to find it in my heart to tell her that I just couldn't.

The door of my car opened and Emma stepped in

" Hey Sean sorry I'm so late my dad had to talk to me about something it's no big deal right?" I looked a the clock it had been 35 minutes since school had ended but like she said it was no big deal.

" Yea sure. It's fine don't worry about It." I turned my head and she kissed me on the lips with so much force that I almost fell back in my seat I pulled away from her and smirked it wasn't like the kiss with Ellie with Ellie the kiss was soft but with Emma it seemed forced like I don't know it was forced and hard and there was no spark when kissed her it was like kissing a poster.

When we arrived at The Dot and took a table in the back far away from everyone else and waited for someone to take our order.

" Sooo Sean how were things at the shop today?" she asked grabbing my hands in her's and laying them on the table

" It was good when I am around cars things are always good just like when I am around you." Liar. I am lying again. Emma smiled and pecked me on the lips.

" We still on for tonight?" she asked me the smile never leaving her face.

' Yeah yeah of course why wouldn't it be?" I said forcing a smile onto my lips every time I looked at her I saw Ellie. Just then the front door of The Dot opened and everyone turned to look.

_**Author's note: **_ I know I usually don't do author's notes at the end of my story too but I just wanted to gloat CLIFHANGER!!! muhahaha


	7. Be Reasonable

_**Disclaimer: **_if I owned Degrassi would I really be writing a disclaimer?

_**Author's note: **_chapter 7 yay!!!!!!!! Thanks again to _**breathe in-3 **_I know I said I wasn't going to update today but my plans got canceled i am bored and if you read my story I would really like you to review please!i know i am making Emma sound mean but i don't understand her and this is how i think she would act!! Here is the last paragraph of yesterday's chapter cause if you remember I left you with a cliffhanger…

_**SEAN POV **_

_' Yeah yeah of course why wouldn't it be?" I said forcing a smile onto my lips every time I looked at her I saw Ellie. Just then the front door of The Dot open_ed a_nd everyone turned to look._

There in the doorway stood the none other than Ellie Nash. I sighed and put my head in my hands of course I knew something was going to go wrong on this date I turned to Emma who had narrowed her eyes and was watching Ellie's every move I tried to avoid Ellie's gaze but as usual it didn't work her eyes landed on me and her lips turned into a small smile. Emma moved her eyes to me and she looked me up and down before leaning in for a kiss. Our lips met and I saw Ellie's smile fall before she sat down at the bar. As far away from us as possible.

Emma kissed me for what seemed like forever until our dinner came i wanted to push her off of me but i knew i couldnt. Ellie looked a mess she had bags under her eyes and her voice cracked when she ordered. something had definitely happened and all i wanted to do was go over there and comfort her but I knew i couldn't or at least not with Emma sitting right next to me.

_**EMMA POV**_

The door of The Dot opened and there in the door frame stood the none other than miss bloodsucking vampire her self Ellie Nash. I scowled and narrowed my eyes following her every move she was not going to ruin this date if I had something to do with it. Her eyes floated around the room before they landed on Sean my boyfriend. she smiled slightly i turned to Sean and looked him up and down he was totally avoiding her and I took that as a good sign so i leaned in and kissed Sean. My eyes turned to Ellie and I watched her smile fall, my work here was done. I never pulled away from him until our dinner came.

We ate in total and complete silence a thing that surprised me because Sean was always talking about the shop or something else but today he just stared down at his food occasionally eating some.

" Sean you can go talk to her for a minute if you want" I said playing up the innocent girlfriend act. He looked at me the back down at his food. He nodded his head and stood up making his way over to Ellie. I can't believe he would choose talking to HER over eating with me Manny was right. I glared at his back as I listened closely to there conversation

" Go away Sean" Ellie said as he approached her.I smiled to myself she hated him and that was a good sign  
" I just thought we should talk about ya know Sunday." What what happened Sunday?  
" There's nothing to talk about it just happened and it's over" What happened why can't they just say it.  
" Are you okay El you seem tense." she glared at him  
"First of all you don't call me El it's a letter not a name second it's none of your business." With that she grabbed her coffee and stormed out of The Dot leaving Sean looking after her. This was going to end once and for all I was going to find out what happened and i had a feeling it wasn't going to be good. He approached our table cautiously as if debating whether or not to go after her.  
" So what was that about?" I asked making it sound like I didn't hear anything but I think probably everyone in The Dot did it wasn't the quietest conversation.  
" Oh that that was nothing she was just running late for a class didn't have time to talk." I nodded my head and the tilted it to the side pursing my lips I said  
" So what happened Sunday" He rubbed his forehead  
" Um maybe we should talk about this some other time." Just the fact that he was avoiding the subject made me mad no it made me furious.  
" Don't beat around the bush Sean what happened Sunday." I didn't realize how loudly i said that until half the room looked at me.  
" Em come on be reasonable lets talk about this when we get too your house" I started breathing heavily using all my energy not to smack him.  
" Tell me now Sean." I said lowering my voice.  
" Em your not going to be happy it it didn't mean anything I just needed to talk and it just happened um.." He trailed off  
" You slept with her didn't you?" I said angrily standing up and slamming my hands down on the table he started shaking his  
" NO NO it's not that bad we we just kissed just kissed that was all come on Em." I pulled my hand back and slapped him across the face before grabbing my purse and storming out of The Dot. I hated Sean Cameron


	8. falling apart

_**Author's note:**_ sorry this chapter is so late today I had an orthodontist appointment and it took way longer than expected and then I had to go to my mom's studio and we didn't get done there till like an hour ago. Don't know when the next chapter will be I am really busy this tomorrow and Saturday and don't know if I can get to a computer there's only a few chapters left like any where from 3 to like 7 and If you read my story review and thanks to _**breathe-in3 **_and _**Allyk00 **_for reviewing!!!!

_**Disclaimer:**_ if I owned Degrassi would I be writing a disclaimer????????

ELLIE POV

My life was falling apart Jesse hated me, my mom was drinking again and my dad well… he might as well be dead it all started yesterday when we got the phone call.

The house phone rang 3 times before anyone answered it

" _I got it" Marco yelled from the kitchen and I laughed to myself he had been waiting for Dylan to call him for 2 days and has been telling everyone to use their cell phones if they needed to get in touch with someone._

_I was sitting cross-legged on my bed the only sound was that of my soft breathing and my fingers hitting the keyboard off my computer. I was working on a front-page article for The Core that was if Jesse even accepted the piece. I shook the thought from my busy mind and heard Marco calling my name telling me to get downstairs. I ran down the stairs and into the living room Marco held the phone out for me_

" _It's your mom" He said sympathetically my heart jumped into my throat my mom only called me if something went wrong seriously wrong_

" _Hel- hello" I said into the phone._

" _Ellie they said they said he…he there was a bombing and they… they haven't found him yet that he… he is probably gone" My mom cried and I felt the tears that had been threatening to fall go down my cheeks in thick streams_

" _Mom mom I am coming over." I said into the phone. I grabbed my jacket and ran out the door leaving the phone behind me thoughts raced through my head as I approached that oh so familiar door. I opened the door slightly and saw my mom leaning over the kitchen table sobs raking her body and a half empty vodka bottle still in hand._

_I ran over to her trying to pry the bottle from her hands but she fought back as hard as her body could handle yelling_

"_No Ellie I need this I do just one drink just one Ellie I need this. Please." She pleaded with me I yelled back angrily_

" _No because one drink will turn into two and two to four and I need thinks to mom like a sober mother." I once again tried to yank the bottle out of her hands but she grabbed it away and took another drink._

" _Your father might as be dead Eleanor I need this more than you can understand." She replied angrily taking another long sip of the clear liquid before resting her head back down on the table. I slammed my hands on the table and stormed towards the door if she wants to drink herself to death I was going to let her._

" _Then I'm done mom we're done I 'm not cleaning after you anymore I'm not mom you can drink yourself to death I don't care." After I said it I noticed those words sounded cruel but it was the truth and if anything she should know the truth. It's not like she will remember them anyways she was already dead to me when she was drinking she was like a zombie._

_I slammed the front door and leaned against it heavily tears streamed down my face tears of anger and tears of pain not physical pain no emotional pain, pain that couldn't be controlled. I walked the rest of the way home, my home me Marco and Paige's house the place where people love me no the place that I just left that was that was nothing to me just like her just like my mother. _

_I opened the heavy front door of the apartment and walked in slowly Marco and Paige were sitting on the couch a open pizza box in front of the of them. Their heads turned to me _

" _Sorry we started with out you Ellie Marco got hungry and begged me to open the piz- OW!!!" Paige yelled as Marco elbowed her in the ribs_

" _El are you look upset." No Marco I wasn't ok my dad is probably dead or dieing in some foreign country my mom was drinking again and Jesse hates me I wanted to say but instead I just settled with a no _

" _Well how about you sit down and tell us what happened" Marco said nicely and Paige just stared at me blankly._

" _I think I am just going to go upstairs" I said my voice quivering a little_

" _Come on El Just tell us wh-"_

" _No." I screamed and ran up the steps. I closed my door and leaned against it before slowly sliding down the door and locking it my head fell in to my knees, which I had pulled tightly to my chest. _

_I heard footsteps outside the my door and then a quiet know _

" _El come on just talk to me." It was Marco and he sounded worried_

" _Leave me alone Marco." I whispered just loud enough for him to here me_

" _Ellie." He said and I felt the doorknob above my head twist and turn_

" _I SAID GO!!!" I yelled and I heard Marco move away from my door and descend the stairs. That night I stayed in that position and cried myself to sleep._

My well pieced together life was slowly cracking and falling to pieces right in front of my eyes and I could see it in everyone's eyes when they looked at me Marco and Paige still have no idea what happened that night and they were not going to find out or not at least until there was nothing left of my old self and I was just a shell of who I used to be rotting away slowly.


	9. together

_**Author's Note: **_ok so here is chapter 9 only a few chapters left. I cant believe I got this chapter done today cause I wrote bits and pieces of it every time I got to a computer which wasn't often and there is only a epilogue left thanks to _**AllyK00**_ and _**Breathe-in3**_ for reviewing. Don't know when I can get the next chapter up. Remember _**Review!!!**_

_**Disclaimer: **_I DON"T OWN DEGRASSI!!!!!!!! OR SEAN OR ELLIE!!

SEAN POV

Once again I couldn't stop thinking about her but this time I was worried. The way she talked to me at The Dot it scared me she seemed upset and now with Emma out of the picture I could talk to her really talk to her.

I stepped up to the front door and knocked loudly. No answer. I rang the doorbell and heard footsteps run down the stairs and then the door flew open revealing Marco.

" Sean I don't think it's a good idea that you're here now." Marco said simply trying to close the door but I fought back hard and pushed it open.

" Just let me talk to Ellie, Marco."

" Ellie's not in a good state right now it's not a good id-" I cut him off and pushed my way into the small house. I was going to talk to her and I didn't care how I did it. I knew the way up to Ellie's room like the back of my hand. The last time I had been here I had made sure I remembered the way. I tried to turn the doorknob but it didn't move even a little she had locked herself in the room. I knocked and I heard a stifled sob come from behind the door.

" Ellie?" I asked

" Sean I don't want to see you." I ignored her and tried the doorknob again this time when it didn't move I pulled a paper clip out of my pocket. I opened it and put it in the keyhole moving it just the right way and then I heard a click and opened the door.

Ellie was lying in her bed with the sheets pulled up over her head

"Get out." She said angrily

" Ellie I want to talk to you."

" No"

" El come on." I begged her

" Sean leave" I walked over to her and pulled the sheets down. She was wearing the same outfit she was the last time I saw her and had makeup running down her face

" Ellie what happened." She glared at me

" Like I'd tell you."

" I broke up with Emma." I said simply trying to make conversation but she stayed quiet. I sighed and made my way to the door I guess she wasn't going to talk. I turned around and she sat up in bed

" Sean…" She said tears in her eyes.

" My mom's drinking again." My face fell and I closed the door

" Why El? I thought she stopped." I moved closer to her

" Dad he's… he's probably dead." Tears started falling out of her gorgeous green eyes and I wrapped my arms around her and held her

" What do you mean probably dead?" tears started falling faster and on to my shoulder but I didn't care

" There was a bombing they haven't found him yet." I held her closer to me as sobs raked her body

" Oh Ellie." I whispered. She cried on my shoulder for what seemed like hours until I pulled away and said

" You should probably get some sleep." I told her

" It might seem silly but can you ya know lay down with me I really don't want to be alone right now." She said staring into my eyes.

I simply lay down onto the bed and she followed lying on my chest. Soon she fell asleep and I whispered to her

" Everything's going to be ok El I promise" before drifting off to sleep myself.


	10. Epilouge

_**Author's note: READ!!!!! **_ Last chapter it is a epilogue so it jumps 2 months ahead into the sellie relationship Ellie's father was found but he was injured he is being released from the hospital today sorry this wasn't up yesterday I didn't have time to get it up and that's about it…REVIEW!!!!! Thanks for the people who reviewed and just so you know I DO KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FANFICTION!!!!!

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Degrassi you don't own Degrassi we all don't own Degrassi well except for the people that do

ELLIE POV

I lay in bed Sean next to me just how it should have been from the start. Today was the day Dad was coming home and I was so excited my mom was picking me up here and driving to the hospital (sober honest) Sean was staying here. He said he didn't want to interrupt the family reunion and thought I should go alone.

I rolled out of bed and let my cold feet touch the floor I pulled on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of shorts and made my way downstairs.

" Hey Marco." I said seeing the boy in the kitchen

" Hey El break feast will be ready soon… Are excited for today your dad coming home and all?" He asked me flipping one of the pancakes on to the plate without using a spatula. Show off. I smiled and nodded

" Extremely" he smiled and pushed a plate filled with food towards me I laughed and started on the pile of food. I heard footsteps and turned towards the stairs Sean Came down fully dressed and ready to go.

" Got to go to the shop early today." He said and I nodded. Sean came over to me and we kissed until Marco cleared his voice

" Um Sean don't you think you should get going." He asked Sean I blushed and he pulled a pancake and a piece of bacon off the pile on my plate and I laughed he pecked me on the cheek and left

" Bye El, Marco." He yelled

" Bye." With that he was gone. I sighed and finished what was on my plate.

2 hours later I was sitting in the living room when I heard a car horn beep from outside the house. I grabbed my coat and headed outside. My mom was waiting in our beat up old altima. I got in the car and smiled at my mom.

" Ready." I said and she took off. The ride to the hospital was awkward and uncomfortable we were both excited to see my father but didn't really know what to say to each other. The last time I had been in a room alone with her was the night we found out about the bombing and the night she started drinking again.

" We're here." She said stating the obvious. We both got out of the car and headed towards me dad's room he was sitting in a chair by his bed with a packed bag with all his stuff sitting on the bed.

" Hey." He said " My two favorite girls." He pulled us into a tight hug not noticing the awkwardness between my mom and I. We checked him out and made our way to mom's house.

SEAN POV

I watched as Ellie's mom's car pulled out of the house and then went back inside. Marco and Paige were sitting on the couch in the living room and jumped up when they saw me.

" Ok Ellie said she would be with her dad until after dinner which is like at 5: 30ish so we have until then to get this house ready." I told them and then rushed outside. Today was the day I as going to ask Ellie to marry me and I wanted to make it special I wanted to reenact the day we met there was an old pipe n the back yard and I pulled that In to the middle of the yard. After that I hung lights up outside Marco and Paige were calling people for Ellie's surprise party later. But there was one thing missing.

I ran to me and Ellie's room and pulled a box of all my stuff out from under the bed I threw all the contents aside and searched through it. Something silver caught my eye and I grabbed it Ellie's old tape recorder. Just what I was looking for I played it and heard Ellie's sixteen year old voice greet me and then I heard mine, remembering that day always brought tears to my eyes. I smiled to myself and went back downstairs bags of chips were all over the table and a bowl of alcoholic punch sat in the middle.

5:30 approached fast and guests were slowly arriving. It was 6:00 and everyone was here we shut the lights off and heard Ellie's voice from outside I walked out of the door and grabbed her hand pulling her in to the backyard she leaned against the fence in the backyard and I kissed her hard on the lips. I walked towards the pipe pressing the play button on the tape recorder in my pocket.

"_I didn't expect so much space."_ Ellie's voice said

" _You carry that bag with you everywhere don't you?" _Ellie looked at me with tears in her eyes

" _It' a syco girl thing emphasis on the syco." _I smiled at the memory

" _I think you're cute." _

"_Guess I got to you." _

" _Dream on." _My sixteen-year-old voice laughed and I leaned back and fell to the ground. She followed my lead and laid back.

" _You don't seem scared of me."_

" _No… You don't seem freaked by me."_

" _Nope."_ I pressed the stop button on the tape recorder and entwined my hand in her's I sat up and got on one knee

" Are you freaked now?" I asked her stared at me I pulled out a jewelry box from my back pocket and opened it there was a simple diamond ring inside and she gasped and said

" Yes." She said I smiled

" Yes you will marry me or yes your freaked." She laughed and kissed me before saying.

" Both. I kissed her back and yelled

" She said yes!!!" The group cheered from the porch Ellie looked at me

" Happy birthday El." I said. Things were finally perfect


End file.
